in between

I thought I was over it
But I realized that closing my eyes doesn’t change where I am
If I’m stuck in purgatory I must start crawling
I will never find the light if I reuse to accept that I’ve been standing here in the dark
I’ll get to the other side, but not with my eyelids shut or my feet planted

Xo, Rachel

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YELLOW

I made a zine. I forgot to post about it.

In short, it’s about feeling good and enjoying the light of spring and summer after a hard winter. It’s about being happy. It’s iPhone photos from the past year and words from the past couple of months. It’s mostly colourful.

It was an idea stuck in my head for months that one day I pasted together and honestly, I really like it. I hope you do too.

It’s called yellow.

Here’s to many more?

xo, rachel

hung up

apologies for the lil hiatus – here’s a thing I wrote in the spring

i’ve kept all these people as options
never letting them walk out of my life fully
in my mind i’ve kept them
hung on the back of a door
by the collars of their shirts
in case i ever need someone

i say i don’t want to play games
as i deal the cards out

i never commit to any one
for fear of losing the others
but by doing that
i don’t truly have anyone
just parts of people
spread over cities i don’t live in
and won’t visit
because it’s not like we are dating
right?

but i don’t say anything
i simply keep them hung up,
and stay hung up on them

DSC01336

xo, rachel

hiraeth

a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was

Every place I’ve ever been wasn’t mine

Because I didn’t make it so

I’m fleeting 

Before I even catch my breath

I’m leaving

Before I can be left

I only pull closer

The things that want to stray

I only remember

What wouldn’t stay

I can’t feel okay

Until someone’s walking away

Xo, Rachel