a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was

Every place I’ve ever been wasn’t mine

Because I didn’t make it so

I’m fleeting 

Before I even catch my breath

I’m leaving

Before I can be left

I only pull closer

The things that want to stray

I only remember

What wouldn’t stay

I can’t feel okay

Until someone’s walking away

Xo, Rachel


The 5 Year Plan

In 5 years
all I want
is a place
to call home
and someone who
will be there
by my side
for that adventure

I don’t care
about hourly wage
or corporate climbing
I just want
to be making
something worthwhile or
doing something positive
in any way

In 5 years
I only hope
to be looking
5 years ahead
with hopeful eyes
and no plan
no plan
at all

Xo, Rachel


Caught in a mess I
Made all by myself again
And you told me so

Growing my hair out
So you won’t recognize me
You don’t know me now

Oceans in between
If we ever meet again
I’d still pull you close

Maybe you never
Meant to make a mess of me
You could help clean up

My aloe plant is
Growing big enough to heal
My whole broken heart

Xo, Rachel

for so long

For so long I’ve been running around looking for something,
Running alone, running in the dark
What am I looking for?
Am I chasing something I’ll never outrun?
For so long I’ve had shoes laced up and bags packed
For so long I’ve been running around the same track,
Surprised every time I end up back at the start
For so long I’ve been running without knowing where I was going

For so long, I can’t run anymore.

Xo, Rachel