Well then. I’ve gone and done it again.
3 years straight of blogtober – and for what? Mostly, I think, to prove it to myself. When I’m determined, I seem to figure things out. To encourage myself to continue writing, to be able to look back, to catalog another year. If nothing else, this always feels like an accomplishment. Even if I don’t say anything profound, even if my blog will never get a million views. I accomplished this either way.
Without getting too deep into it, this month was not easy. There were days I didn’t want to post anything, and there were days I felt like my heart wasn’t in it anymore.
My emotions were all over the place in October. I was really struggling in this new environment, and my anxiety felt debilitating some days. I’ve dealt with this long enough to know that it comes and goes – though I’m sure if you’ve had a good streak too, you really want to believe that you’re past it for good. I know for me it always feels like a huge step backwards. I have to tell myself that it’s not. Or if it is, what does it matter? Life goes on. Sometimes I just won’t have it in me to ask a salesperson for help.
Still out here dancing in the rain.
If you read any or all of these posts, I hope you got something from it. And – thank you. For hearing me out.