journal entries no. 27 & 28

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A few short ones from this summer that I never expanded on.

xo

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a list

A LIST.

A LIST?

A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS I’VE MISSED.

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(written august 2017, then lost in my drafts until now)

You know, I love a list.

Sometimes when you’re sitting by the lake on a particularly sunny day in August, you wish the person you spent 6 months straight with could be by your side enjoying the view, too. And you realize it’s somehow been 6 months since you’ve even seen them at all. And then it’s been a year and a half. Life goes really fast and things change constantly and suddenly you find that memories are fading. All these moments, meant a lot to me at one point. Why do I have so many all or nothing friendships? Non-stop to full-stop? I’m getting whiplash.

Xo, Rachel

 

 

my non coming out coming out post

Social media was celebrating National Coming Out Day yesterday and so I thought I’d jump on board (a day late because truly, I am not very good with social media) and tell my side of this story.

Uh, I guess by making this post at all, y’all now know this part of who I am.

About a week ago, Damon from damonandjo uploaded a non coming out coming out video and before you read this, or after, I suggest you watch it. He explains my feelings probably better than I am about to. Here. I’ll even embed it.

Essentially, I didn’t have a “coming out” at any point. I simply didn’t feel it was necessary. I believe, if we are fighting to make all sexualities normal, why are we still singling ourselves out to point out that we are different? If we don’t want it to be our main character trait, then we shouldn’t make it so. You know?

That’s not to say that if it makes you feel good, if you feel like it’ll lift a weight off your chest, if you want the label, you shouldn’t come out. Go to pride if you want. Plaster rainbows over everything you own. Do you. Hell, shout it from the rooftops! I don’t care. Everyone has their own way of doing things. My way just happens to be quiet, because that’s how I do everything.

It’s just that in my mind, by continuing to have a “coming out” moment, we’re continuing the “everyone is straight until said otherwise” tradition. Like whoever you like, I’ll know when you bring someone home, or start telling me about your huge crush on some celebrity. It shouldn’t have to be a big thing.

I don’t know. I’m just living my life, and if you know I like girls as well as boys, that’s cool. And if you don’t, you probably don’t follow me on Instagram. Yes, its a part of my identity, but it is far from being the only part. I fit into a lot of labels – and I don’t really wear any of them.

But yeah, if you ever wondered, I am pretty gay.

Here’s “the gayest song ever” so says the band that wrote it. Enjoy.

xo

england so far

Iffffffffffff you know me at all or have read more than 3 of my blog posts you probably know I love to travel and move around quite frequently. Since I moved away from home 3 years ago I’ve now lived in 2 countries, 2 provinces, 6 cities and 7 houses. Not bad, if you ask me. I’m getting decently accustomed to purging and packing and starting over at this point.

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So, England. My first move out of Canada. And my first move to a place where I know someone already. Pretty safe. Different enough from home, but not so much so that I feel like an alien.

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As far as adjustments go, truly the biggest thing is the uncertainty crossing streets, not knowing what’s going on with the cars around me. Coming from a country where pedestrians have right of way and roads are straightforward, I’m a little fearful that my downfall will be stepping off a curb when I shouldn’t have. Other than that, nothing has thrown me off too much. I mean, I have been here before so it’s not completely new.

I’ve not yet gotten a UK SIM card for my phone, and I’m not hating it. I kind of like not having the distraction while I’m out of the house, so long as I can still open Maps and see where I’m going, I can survive.

So far, I’ve spent my time mostly applying for jobs, walking by the sea, and browsing many grocery stores. I do love a foreign grocery store. I could do a tour of grocery stores just gawking at the new and interesting vegan options and other things that are uncommonly seen in Canada. All in all, decent first week.

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We’ll see how I get on for the next 8 months.

xo

journal entry no. 24

I really thought about posting some of these on my instagram in a little series I wanted to call #writtenindirt because this past summer I kept forgetting my journal and just writing on whatever I had handy. I never got around to that, so I suppose I’ll post them all here. I enjoyed the spontaneity of it all, especially if I was out hiking or sitting by the water. Anyways. Not tryna be fake deep. They are just words.

xo