the tattour

I have quite a few tattoos at this point and haven’t posted much about any of them, so here’s this.

I kind of gave up taking nice photos after the first like 4 tattoos so I really had to hunt through my photo archives to find all of these.

OK so, in the order that I got them:

  • The frowny faces (Dundas)
    On my ankles, done in Hamilton right after I turned 18 (done at separate times). This is the symbol that The Summer Set used to promote their album Everything’s Fine and I just really liked it, and thought the frown was funny considering what the album was called. The happy-sad humor. One is right side up and the other is upside down, because I wanted them to match but not be exactly the same.
  • The constellation (Hamilton)
    My star sign, the virgo. I don’t really follow astrology but I love space.
  • The fastforward/rewind (Toronto)
    A matching tattoo I got with one of my friends that I met through the internet/similar music tastes. Seemed fitting.
  • The hearts (Vancouver)
    Zayn Malik drew this and it was included in a sticker set that came with one of One Directions albums. I thought it was cute.
  • Girl almighty (Vancouver)
    A One Direction song. Also like, girl power.
  • The pansies (Halifax)
    My favourite flower, my favourite colour.
  • The blue flowers (Hamilton)
    They’re meant to be forget-me-nots but they turned out way bigger than that. I just love flowers.
  • Temporary (Victoria)
    Thought that would be funny. It’s permanent. Lol.
  • The flower chain (Kelowna)
    Thought it was cute. Love flowers.
  • The lavender branch (Seattle)
    See above.
  • The tandem bike (Tobermory)
    For my best friend. She visited me once in Vancouver and we rented a tandem bike to ride around Stanley Park. It was a riot.
  • The spider web (Tobermory)
    I was living in a cabin in the woods. Felt like I spent the entire summer covered in cobwebs.

And that’s all, dudes! For now!

Xo, Rachel

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post-emo

I used to be a pretty miserable human being. I know this. Honestly, it feels pretty strange to not be sad all of the time.

I was talking to a friend recently and they were explaining how they almost feel guilty for being happy. Like it’s not who they are. And I have been feeling that, too. Who am I if I’m not feeling depressed? I spent so many formative years hating my life that I never planned for the future. All of the sudden things are looking bright and I don’t know what to do with myself. I never picked up any lasting hobbies, being sad was the only thing that I was. But now I don’t even have that. And everyone else already knows who they are.

It’s like I got so used to the rain that I kept an umbrella above my head everywhere I went, and never even bothered looking up to see that the sun had come out. You know?

Who am I without the rain cloud that followed me around?

My friend said it was kind of freeing, though, to be a blank slate at 22 – to be able to curate your life. It’s true. I guess it’s never too late to be the person you want to be, or whatever.

Another friend and I were talking about how great it is to no longer be a teenager. Oh how sweet it is, my friends. The sweetest. I used to think the whole “it gets better” line was crap, but it’s true. It gets better! So much better! You’ll have the freedom to be yourself and do what you want and mess stuff up and it’ll be magical!

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So what if I didn’t start kayaking when I was 13? I’m starting now. And I don’t care that most people my age that like kayaking are already way better than me. You gotta start somewhere.

I’m just glad the rain subsided for a little while.

Xo, Rachel

 

 

BLOGTOBER 2.0

Hey! Happy October!

I’m going to be posting every single day this month because I had so much fun last year, so here we go. It should be pretty interesting, considering that I’m spending the first 2 weeks of the month in Europe without my computer or reliable wifi to even check that all of these scheduled posts even go up!!

I am writing this mid-September, along with most of what you’ll be seeing until I’m back in Canada, so let’s hope everything goes to plan. It’s been quite a year and I’ve barely posted anything, so blogtober is going to be a compilation of everything I’ve written since this time last year.

Speaking of This Time Last Year, let’s recap:

I had just moved to Victoria, just gotten 3 new jobs, just moved into my first place, and was trying to adjust. This sounds like a lot but in any given month I’m sure, if you wrote it all down, it would seem like a busy month. It was hectic, but that made posting every day a kind of routine that I could count on.

Anyways, like I said, this October is going to be pretty hectic as well, but that is all part of the fun.

I’m excited!! See you tomorrow!

failing (and other things i’m not doing)

friday, april 28th

so I’ve moved back home and I’m trying really hard to look at the bright side – free rent, familiar faces, the freedom of time. but it’s hard, because being here at all, it feels like a failure. it’s like all the progress, everything I’ve done in the past 2 years was for nothing, because I’m back where I started.

the suburbs are melting my brain, sucking my motivation, molding me into the mundane I once was.

Thinking back to 2 months ago, when I was suddenly having to make a decision between staying in BC though I had nowhere to live, or going home, it felt like the actual end of the world. Realistically, I could have easily found a place in somewhere and got on with it, but I chose to go home. I got on that plane in Vancouver filled with a sense of dread that I couldn’t shake. For once, I wasn’t excited to be returning to my family, and I didn’t know why. I just felt like I was making the wrong move.

I was afraid that I’d go home and get stuck there, fall into some kind of black hole and become the sad sack I had been 2 years before. I couldn’t stop feeling like if I just never moved back, I’d be OK. That it was the place that made me that way, not my brain. BC was my home, I didn’t want to abandon it just as I was getting comfortable.

Fast forward to now, I can see that being here wasn’t as life-ruining as I thought it would be. Yeah, I spent the first couple of weeks complaining about the suburbs, and the weather, and the people and everything, but I’ve genuinely had a great time. I’ve been surrounded by love and have had so much time to work on myself. I’ve been doing yoga, going for long walks, laying out in the sun, reading for the first time in a while, and appreciating the place I am in. I even went for a few bike rides, which has been something I though I hated since I was probably 10 years old. The dread in my heart has been replaced with a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in quite some time. It was all my mindset, duh. This place is still home, after all.

Basically, I’m leaving on Friday and I almost don’t want to. But it’s time for a new adventure (plus I haven’t worked in like 3 months and I’m supposed to be an adult). Onwards and upwards!!!!!

Xo, Rachel

snow day

I spent this past winter on Vancouver Island, and while most of the time I was thankful that it wasn’t all that cold, I really did miss the snow. Lucky for me, the island got one big snowfall – enough for me to get the day off work. So bought a new disposable camera and a coffee and took the bus up to Goldstream Provincial Park (a pretty decent trek, but definitely worth it). It was one of the best days I had the entire winter, running through the snow with the biggest smile on my face like it was the first time I’d seen the white stuff, and it may as well have been.

 

I’m so glad I braved the cold and the messy streets, because these are some of my favourite photos I’ve taken since leaving Tofino last August. Probably because I had so much fun taking them.

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The snow only lasted a couple of days, but I think I made the most of it.

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The song I wanted to include isn’t on YouTube so here’s a Spotify link if you are so inclined.

ALSO! I have put up a few new photos on my Society6 that you can check out here!

Xo, Rachel

road trips

I like to consider myself a semi-professional when it comes to packing after spending the last 2ish years doing almost nothing but, so here are some words of stupidity from someone who still sucks at packing!


So, you’re going on a road trip? Been there. The prep is crucial to the whole experience, yeah? Sure. I recently got rid of nearly everything I owned except what I thought I would need living out of a car for 3 or so weeks, not even knowing where exactly I was going to be visiting. Turns out that BC is still pretty cold mid-March and maybe I shouldn’t have gotten rid of all my winter clothes. Live and learn.

What you’ll pack:

  • Healthy food so you can cook all your meals at hostels to save money
  • Instruments to play out of the back of your car at some picturesque lookout
  • Fancy camera to capture all the beautiful moments you’ll have
  • Books! You’ll have so much time to read!
  • Camping equipment
  • French press, duh
  • Clothes that don’t suit the season you’re travelling to
  • Cute decorations for the car
  • Emotional baggage
  • Soap that you’ll leave somewhere but replace with something from a free bin at a hostel
  • Multiple hat options
  • Yoga mats, for doing yoga…
  • Laundry detergent?

What you’ll actually need:

  • Clif bars, because you can’t be bothered to cook
  • Hair elastics!
  • A freaking coat
  • A water bottle
  • Podcasts to listen to
  • An aux cord
  • A map?
  • A plan?
  • Comfortable clothes
  • Cash
  • A charger for the fancy camera you brought
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Wifi to find the vegan options near you
  • Hand cream
  • All that car stuff that you are supposed to always have
  • Good spirits

But really though, if you cook your own food on road trips, please teach me how to be like you. I can’t do another 3 weeks of McDonalds and junk food from various gas stations. I really can’t. I’m just saying, those vagabonds I follow on Instagram must have some real talent because all the road trips I’ve been on have been dirty and unorganized and sleep-deprived. None of that string-lights-hung-above-a-cozy-bed-in-the-trunk, coffee-made-in-tin-mugs-over-a-campfire, writing-poetry-in-the-passenger-seat shit. We had fun, though. It just wasn’t pretty.

Xo, Rachel