trying again

It’s mental health awareness week, so here is a journal entry/poem that I wrote a couple months ago about the sand in my shoes holding me down, the knot in my stomach that keeps me in bed, the ache in my chest that pushes people away etc etc. It doesn’t always feel this bad, but like, sometimes it does.

there is a pain that I have yet to figure out how to mend.

at times it feels like loneliness, when I’m with people who love me.

at times it’s the illusion that I’m empty, when I’m doing things that fulfil me.

other times it’s a hunger for nothing specific.

no matter which form the pain takes, it is always present.

it always makes me feel like something is missing, but I’ll never know what that is.

i’ll only find a million pieces to a whole other puzzle.

— trying to cure depression with orange juice straight from the carton (march 2017)


Xo, Rachel 

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