Skip To The Good Bit

Today we’re going to revisit some of my favourite memories that I’ve documented in various journals over the past few years.

Here are the good bits:

There is something about grocery shopping with your favourite people that is so special. I don’t know why. It just feels different. To split up and then run into each other in the cereal aisle, to joke about the junk food the other person is buying, and laugh about the junk food you’re buying. To be independent with company. Ever since I’ve had to buy my own groceries, I’ve been doing it with friends. Mostly out of circumstance and roommates and remote locations but I now feel like something or someone is missing when I have to walk up and down the aisles completely on my own.

Slept in and then started my day reading poetry under a big blanket to the sound of rain falling and birds chirping. Content.

It was early May and he piggybacked me through downtown Vancouver because I had to get back to my hostel and he had to get home and we were going to have to say goodbye for a long time, again. For the first time in a while I felt like I was really living in the present. It’s nice to think about, especially now, when I don’t really feel like I’m living at all. Being carefree and close to someone that I love.

Gas station hot chocolate and interlocked arms. The view from the top of Mount Basin. Driving through Alberta with my siblings. Riding through Bermuda on the back of my aunt’s scooter. Sitting in the living room at 7am blasting Wonderwall unironically. The first time I listened to American Candy. Visiting a new place. Going home.

Young and dumb, sleeping in the back of a car in a bar parking lot. Young and afraid, holding each other close, staring at the ocean. Young and reckless, spending all our money on overpriced alcohol and grocery store dinners. Young and happy, 2 kids basking in the sun.

It was finally nice enough to go to the lake. It felt nice, having the sun on my skin again. It felt new, sitting on the dock with my housemates. My skin was warm, I laid my head on my own shoulder. I had sand between my toes. I talked to some tourists. Everyone was alive and refreshed. The beach was crawling with people that had been stuck inside for over a week.

It’s not so bad when we’re all in the living room with candles burning, eating pancakes for dinner at 10pm and listening to Christmas tunes softly. It actually felt like a holiday even though we had to work and it’s impossible to get the entire gang in a room together, it was nice to be with people I care about, people that are also very far away from home. It’s okay. Tomorrow is just another calendar day.

This morning I stepped outside and was immersed in a salty mist from the sea, visible and palpable like I’d never experienced. Like walking close to a waterfall. I looked down to the beach and saw noting but light. No sand, no water, no humans. Just a bright yet hazy light. I still wonder if it was all a dream or if the universe is truly that magical.

I’m so glad I acquired 3 older brothers out here. I don’t know what I’d do without their middle-of-the-day teasing and middle-of-the-night pep talks.

There are moments that feel like movies. There are times of day that make you feel infinite. There are people that make you feel like you belong.

I wasn’t excited about the snow until it was coming down in fluffy little chunks and I was a little tipsy sitting on the couch with someone’s arm around me pointing it out. Until I was being carried home sometime past midnight having it fall on my head after my hood fell off. Until I was driving through the mountains and all the trees were dusted white. Until I was running and slipping through the streets on the way to work, dodging snowballs. Until I was staring at the sky with my mouth open, trying to catch snowflakes like a little kid.

Xo, Rachel



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