I was going to do a post about depression today to keep in the spirit of mental illness awareness week but I think I’ll save that for tomorrow – to give myself a break from all the serious stuff. I promise, I did not intend for this entire month to be about how sad I am, it just kind of happened.
Anyways, I’m not all that sad all the time. I just don’t usually write about being happy. I should. During my first year of college, I actually used to write down 3 things that had made my happy that day, right before I went to sleep (I posted a few of them on my old blog, if you are curious, keeping in mind that this was not my best year and a lot of the time it was a stretch to think of anything to write). I stopped doing it after a while, but yesterday I was feeling very light and thought I’d document it in the same format I used to use:
It’s October 5th at 3:17pm and I am happy
because I have the freedom to sit
and stare at the ocean,
feel the sun on my skin,
and just be.
I am so happy to just be.
I was feeling very overwhelmed with joy because after a couple months of stress and hard decisions and confusion and going back and forth, I have settled. And I am so glad that I live where I live, that I can be with the ocean and the mountains, take long walks surrounded by trees, that I live on a quiet street that deer inhabit alongside me, and that I can have this kind of control in my life. I love nature and I need nature, but I also needed to be in a city, because that’s a part of me. I am so in love with this city and I was so worried but I can see myself being happy here. Well, I already am. And in time I’ll make friends and discover new parts of the city and the island and in time, I’ll leave. But for right now, I am satisfied. So thanks, Buzzfeed, for telling me that Victoria was the place for me. Right now, it seems to be.
Also, I saw Tokyo Police Club on Tuesday night and rediscovered my love for this song and have listened to it so many times in the past couple days. Awesome Day is another good one, although they didn’t play it, but I couldn’t find it on YouTube so just go find it yourself!!