Putting Yourself First

It’s been a while since I posted something #deep and unrelated to music, but here we go

I know that this topic is really hard to talk about, because most people want to make other people happy. We’re taught that it’s selfish to think about yourself and your feelings above someone else’s. It’s hard to make a decision that you know might hurt someone’s feelings, or inconvenience them, right? I don’t think that’s just me.

I’m bringing this up because recently I had been putting off something that had the potential to make me happier because I was afraid that it would make other people upset. I have good reasons for doing said thing, and I’m sure that eventually these people will understand, but the initial reaction is what had stopped me from opening my mouth.

At a certain point, you really do have to put yourself first. If something is negatively impacting you and you can change it – change it! You are just as important as anyone else, and you’re worth fighting for. This can mean quitting a job, opting out of an event, breaking off a relationship or simply confronting someone. If it’s a person that’s upsetting you, sometimes they won’t even realize. Maybe talking to them about it will make them change their ways – and of course, if it doesn’t then GET OUT OF THERE. You’re allowed to do that. You are 100% allowed to make decisions that will benefit you and only you (with some exceptions like violence, stealing etc.) (just thought I had to mention that).

This is all so vague BUT that’s because it can apply to so many situations. You don’t like the program you’re taking at school? Change your major! It’s not as hard as it may seem. You wanna move to Italy to persue a career but you don’t wanna feel like you’re ditching your family? They’ll be fine. The internet exists for times like those. You’ve been friends with someone since the 1st grade and they make you feel like crap but you don’t wanna throw the friendship away? Why not? Why waste time with bad friends? The truth is, whoever you’re scared of hurting or letting down or leaving will get over it. And if they really love you, they’ll be able to see things from your point of view.

Because yeah, they might be unhappy but it won’t be permanent. You have to realize that their feelings are temporary, but whatever you’re getting out of would have kept going. It can be really hard to cut people off or do something that someone in your life would disapprove of or judge you for – but sometimes you have to in order to grow as a person. I’m still working on this.

Don’t you dare
Shrink yourself
For someone else’s comfort-
Do not become small
For someone who refuses to grow.
— unknown

Simply put, there’s no use holding onto something that’s not going to make your experience as a human person better. There’s no use keeping people around just because you have a huge history, there’s no use always being the one reaching out to people and getting nothing in return. Think of it this way, there’s no use eating kale if you don’t like kale. Yeah, it’s good for you but at what cost? If you hate the taste of kale then don’t bother eating it. Don’t waste your life eating kale when you’d rather be eating spinach. Or chocolate. At the end of the day, you have a limited amount of time to live this specific life, and I think you should spend it with people you actually like, doing things that you love, and eating food that you actually enjoy.

Your feelings are important. Your feelings are important.

Xo, Rachel


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